90E INT. CAMPAIGN H.Q. UPPER STORY——AFTERNOON 90E
In sordid contrast to the gleaming h.q. below. The *
Organ Grinder supervises construction of various arcane *
weaponry. As Penguin enters， the Fat Clown pops in his *
face.
FAT CLOWN
Hey Penguin， there's a ——
Penguin savagely stomps on the Clown's oversized shoe.
PENGUIN
My name's not Penguin！ It's
Oswald Cobblepot！
He continues on， still musing：
PENGUIN
Hell， maybe I'll get laid on the *
campaign trail …… Happy Trails ……
The KNIFETHROWER DAME blocks his path.
KNIFETHROWER DAME
Oswald …… someone here to see
you.
She nods at Penguin's bed， in the corner. He lights up
as he sees Catwoman， sexily curled up on the mattress.
（Hanging above is a birdcage， where Penguin's filthy
CANARY intermittently SHRIEKS.）
PENGUIN
（throaty squawk）
Just the pussy I been looking for.
Catwoman sits up， languidly stroking her shoulders.
CATWOMAN
Chilly in here.
In fact there are twin air conditioners， on adjacent
walls， both aimed at the bed and going full blast.
PENGUIN
I'll warm ya！ I got hot mitts ——！
CATWOMAN
Down， Oswald. We have to talk. You
see we've got something in common.
PENGUIN
Appetite for destruction？
Contempt for the czars of fashion？
Wait don't tell me …… Naked
sexual charisma？
CATWOMAN
Batman. The thorn in both our
sides， the fly in our ointment. *
PENGUIN
（cagey）
Huh？ You're implying I'm some
kinda psycho criminal？
Catwoman ironically takes in the sociopathic chaos. Then
stands.
CATWOMAN
My mistake.
Penguin sits her back down.
PENGUIN
Are you perchance a registered
voter？ I'm also a mayoral
prospect.
CATWOMAN
I have but one pet cause， today：
Ban The Bat.
PENGUIN
Oh， him again. He's already
history —— check it out.
Penguin gestures at the wall …… detailed drawings and
blueprints of the Batmobile， inside and out.
PENGUIN
We're gonna disassemble his spiffy
old Batmobile， then reassemble it
as an H-bomb on wheels. Capiche？
Yesterday's victor is tomorrow's
vapor.
CATWOMAN
（shakes her head）
He'd have more power as a martyr.
No， to destroy Batman we must
first turn him into what he hates
most. Meaning， us.
There's an array of closed umbrellas， propped. Penguin
picks a disturbingly phallic one， strokes Catwoman's
thigh with it.
PENGUIN
Y'mean frame him？
CATWOMAN
You're quick. Mayor Cobblepot.
As the umbrealls-dildo travels up， toward Catwoman's
crotch：
PENGUIN
Right on！ Batman goes Manson， and
the Mayor goes South. Straight
into the sewer. Actually it's not
so bad down there， I miss the
drip， drip， drip ……
Meanwhile Catwoman has noticed， on Penguin's night-table，
the TALL STACK OF LEGAL PADS FILLED WITH NAMES.
CATWOMAN
Hmm …… Not even in office yet，
and already an enemies list ……？
Attempted seduction forgotten， Penguin springs up，
scurries over and covers the stack with his gloves.
PENGUIN
Those names are not for prying eyes！
And suddenly it hits him：
PENGUIN
Hey， why should I trust some
Catbroad？ This is the big-time.
Are you the real item？ Maybe you're
just some screwed-up sorority chick
who's getting back at Daddy for not
buying her that pony when she
turned sweet sixteen ……
Catwoman gulps， nervous —— then retaliates by shooting
her paw into the birdcage. She pulls out the canary and *
shoves it into her mouth. Penguin leaps up， frantic.
PENGUIN
No， don't hurt Gertrude！ I was
just —— whattaya call it ——
"flirting."
Catwoman coolly spits out the canary， which flutters off.
PENGUIN
Thanks. Jeez. Not used to this
man-woman， cat-mouse business.
Generally the babes flock to me，
I tell 'em take a number.
CATWOMAN
You're off the hook， Ozzie. But
Batman is decidedly NOT.
She drifts over to Penguin and starts to vamp him，
gliding her talons over his grotesque， sweating features.
CATWOMAN
（sultry skulking）
He napalmed my arm. He knocked me
off a building just when I was
starting to feel good about myself.
I want to play an integral part
in his degradation.
PENGUIN
（tentative）
Well， a plan is forming …… A
vicious one， involving the loss
of innocent life ……
CATWOMAN
I want in. The thought of busting
Batman makes me feel all ……
dirty. Maybe I'll give myself a
bath right here ……
Catwoman slyly licks an arm. Penguin grossly licks his
lips.
PENGUIN
You just got yourself a deal，
Cat-doll.
90F OMITTED 90F
90G EXT. WAYNE MANOR——THAT NIGHT 90G
Through the window， we see the sparkling Christmas tree.
And we HEAR， wafting from the TV set：
PENGUIN'S VOICE
I challenge the Mayor to re-light
the tree in Gotham Plaza， tommorow
night.
90H INT. WAYNE MANOR LIVING ROOM——NIGHT 90H
Alfred serves Bruce his supper， as Bruce impassively
watches "Oswald Cobblepot" at campaign headquarters， on
local news.
PENGUIN
（on TV）
He must prove that under his
administration， we can carry on
our proud traditions without fear.
Not that I have any faith in the
Mayor…… but I pray， at least，
that Batman will be there， to
preserve the peace.
Alfred notices his boss quietly seething.
ALFRED
Sir. Shall we change the channel
to a program with some dignity and
class？ "The Love Connection，"
perhaps？
Bruce quietly tells the preening image on the screen：
BRUCE
You're very subtle， "Oswald."
Then moodily clicks OFF the TV.
91 EXT. THE SHOPS OF GOTHAM PLAZA——DAY 91
NAIVELY GIDDY CHILDREN and GUARDEDLY AMUSED PARENTS
browse a damaged but not defeated line of Plaza shops. *
Father， Mother， and Boy——A FAMILY HIGHLY REMINISCENT OF
YOUNG BRUCE WAYNE AND HIS DOOMED PARENTS——drift to a *
magically intact toy store window.
Bruce Wayne sidles up beside them and sadly contemplates
the cozy menage. He turns and looks， not through the
window， but at it， at the reflection of himself.
In the corner of the window reflection is a reflection of
Selina Kyle standing across the street. Her back turned，
she is also looking toward a store window. Noticing her，
Bruce turns from his window.
