115 OMITTED 115

    & &

    116 116

    117 EXT. GOTHAM PLAZA——NIGHT 117

    *

    A huge crowd is gaping up at the terrible scene.

    CROWD MEMBER

    Batman？ Batman pushed the

    Princess！

    The devastated Mayor and his staff follow， with their

    heads， the trajectory of the Princess —— which corre-

    sponds to that of their careers.

    Her body slams down onto the gaily multi-colored button.

    This makes the Christmas tree come to life， but not with

    lights. Instead a legion of EEKING BATS bellow out from

    the tree's branches and swoop uopn the crowd， violently

    rearranging a hundred hair-do's.

    117A EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP——NIGHT 117A *

    Both Batman and Penguin stand here （on opposite ends of

    the roof）， looking down on the mind-boggling pandemonium.

    PENGUIN

    Bats with wings， do your things ……

    Batman turns on Penguin， to do irreparable injury， but

    the rooftop door flies open （hiding Penguin） and a

    squadron of Cops drop into combat position.

    BATMAN

    Wait ——

    COMMISSIONER GORDON

    Hold your f——

    Too late. The volley of bullets violently ripple against

    Batman's armor， sending him over the edge of the building.

    He clangs onto a terrace railing， then lands on

    another ……

    118 OMITTED 118

    119 EXT. TERRACE——NIGHT 119

    An enfeebled Batman tries to stand， but is gently pushed

    back down by Catwoman's sexy straddle.

    CATWOMAN

    You're catnip to a girl like me：

    handsome， dazed， and to DIE for.

    As she leans down to kiss him cat-style （a lick on his

    lips） Batman sees， above her head， a hanging sprig of

    mistletoe.

    BATMAN

    A kiss under the misteltoe.

    Mistletoe can be deadly， if you

    eat it ……

    CATWOMAN

    But a kiss can be even deadlier，

    if you mean it.

    She unfastens his Bat-belt， flings it off the terrace.

    120 OMITTED 120 *

    121 EXT. TERRACE——NIGHT 121

    Still straddling the winded Crusader：

    CATWOMAN

    You're the second man who killed

    me this week. But hey， no prob ……

    I've got seven lives left.

    BATMAN

    I tried to grab you —— save you ——

    CATWOMAN

    Seems like every woman you try to

    save ends up dead， or deeply

    resentful.

    She savagely pulls him up.

    CATWOMAN

    Maybe it's time to retire.

    She viciously claws at his face， and mask， but Batman

    feints back and does a reverse swan-dive off the terrace.

    122 EXT. IN AIR——NIGHT 122

    As Batman falls， a pair of balsa wood-enforced， black

    cloth kite-wings extend out and open.

    123 EXT. PLAZA BELOW——NIGHT 123 *

    Gotham citizens gape at the bizarre sight of Batman flying

    amid his real-life counterparts.

    124 EXT. GOTHAM ALLEY——NIGHT 124 *

    Batman continues to swoosh ever downward. He edges out

    before the crowd. Parallel to the ground， Batman glides

    into the alley for a skidding， quasi-crash， leaving him

    barely conscious. The black balsa batwings crunch to

    pieces in the tumble. The Batmobile looms at the end of

    the alley.

    125 OMITTED 125

    125A EXT. THE TERRACE——NIGHT 125A

    Catwoman turns away from the scene of Batman's disgrace.

    CATWOMAN

    You said you were going to SCARE

    the Ice Princess.

    Penguin is standing here， with a battered Tiffany box.

    PENGUIN

    And I kept my word！ The lady

    looked terrified.

    He opens the box， revealing a hideous engagement ring.

    PENGUIN

    Let's consummate our fiendish union！

    CATWOMAN

    （sneers）

    I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.

    PENGUIN

    I oughta have you spayed！ You

    sent out all the signals！

    CATWOMAN

    （moment of doubt）

    Did I？ Only 'cause my mom trained

    me to， with a man…… any man， all

    men ——

    （slaps her forehead）

    Corn dog！

    Enough self-hate. Catwoman redirects her rage at Penguin.

    CATWOMAN

    Me， domesticated？ By you？ I doubt

    it！ You repulsive…… awful……

    PENGUIN.

    PENGUIN

    The name is Oswald Cobblepot.

    He hooks the umbrella's handle around her neck. It auto-

    matically curls into a tight semi-noose， then the ribs

    start to spin， shredding the pannels…… it's now a tiny

    helicopter……

    PENGUIN

    And the wedding's been called OFF.

    Catwoman is yanked up， into the air. Penguin wistfully

    waves fairwell. Then mopes away.

    126 EXT. GOTHAM SKYLINE——NIGHT 126

    Catwoman whirls through the Gotham sky.

    She painfully stretches out with her claws and tears

    open the strangling handle. She is released.

    Catwoman makes a dazzlingly awesome freefall plunge，

    finally crashing through a skylight into……

    127 INT. A PENTHOUSE GREENHOUSE——NIGHT 127

    and a tableful of flowers. She lies for a moment in

    stunned silence then bursts into an inhuman wail that

    shatters the greenhouse glass.

    127A EXT. PLAZA——NIGHT 127A

    Penguin is escorted through the crowd toward a CAMPAIGN

    BUS emblazoned "Cobblepot， Soft He's Not". Gothamites

    offer encouragement， which cheers him a tad …… he

    presses buttons upon his more bosomy supporters …… which

    cheers him a lot.

    127B INT. CAMPAIGN BUS——NIGHT 127B

    Invigorated， Penguin moves straight to a twisted-tech

    remote control panel of switches， buttons and levers，

    all labeled with the various functions of the Batmobile.

    As a bonus， there's a mini-steering wheel. Cackling，

    Penguin grabs it.

    128 EXT. GOTHAM ALLEY——NIGHT 128 *

    Batman staggers toward his car. He undoes the security

    cloak on the deceptively pristine Batmobile. A CROWD OF

    PURSUERS of the "There-he-is-Don't-let-him-get-away"

    variety， swing around the corner.

    Batman quickly crashes down into the driver's seat and

    takes a breath of guarded relief when suddenly the doors

    loudly lock. All systems on the control panel flash on

    by themselves. The engine cacophonously VROOMS.

    129 OMITTED 129

    130 INT. THE BATMOBILE——NIGHT 130

    Batman pounds his fist into a Batmobile window to no

    effect. Penguin's face comes on the screen the same way

    Alfred's innocuously did before.

    PENGUIN （screen）

    Don't adjust your set. Welcome

    to the Oswald Cobblepot School

    of Driving. Gentleman， start

    your screaming……

    The vehicle thunders forward， slamming him back.

    131 EXT. THE BATMOBILE——NIGHT 131

    blasts from an alley， freaking out his pursuers， and

    makes a wild turn into the street.

    132 INT. CAMPAIGN BUS——NIGHT 132

    Penguin rambunctiously joggles the steering wheel. On

    one screen， he sees Batman's tensed face. On another

    screen is a Batmobile-eye view.

    PENGUIN

    Maybe this is a bad time to mention

    it， but my license has expired.

    Of course， so have you.

    133 INT. THE BATMOBILE——NIGHT 133

    Batman tears off a shard of his console. Rips and tugs

    at various wires……

    134 OMITTED 134

    thru thru

    137 137

    138 INT. CAMPAIGN BUS——NIGHT 138

    PENGUIN plays his controls like the Phantom of the Opera.

    139 INT. BATMOBILE——NIGHT 139

    Levers on the console move down by themselves. Batman

    uses Hurculean strength to push them back up.

    PENGUIN

    （onscreen）

    Batman…… I know YOU'RE not having

    a swell time， but lemme tellya：

    Taking control of your vehicle，

    mowing down decent people， and

    laying the bad vibes squarely on

    you …… makes the hairs in my *

    nose tingle. *