189 INT. THE SPOOKILY REBUILT DEPARTMENT STORE——NIGHT 189
Max Shreck stands on a platform before a microphone， wear-
ing a scary black leather jacket-and-everything-else- *
ensemble with a vivid red eye-mask.
MAX
Attention Shoppers……
A SWARM OF PARTY GUESTS laugh appreciatively， also
in COSTUME——costumes that are exotic， erotic， evil， and *
pretty stupid. An ARMORED KNIGHT lifts his visor to
bulge his eyes at this annoying behavior. It is Alfred.
As Max speaks， one takes in the rejuvenated department
store， still eerily burnt around the edges. New and
glitzy Christmas decorations shine. The whole store has *
been bathed in seductive nightclub lighting. *
MAX
Like this splendid department
store， Gotham can quickly bounce
back from the tumult of the past
days …… So deck the halls， and
shake your booties！
A BAND behind Max launches into a sultry headbanger. *
Guests begin to groove out on a make-shift dance floor. *
Max gives a "forgive me？" toast toward the vindicated
Mayor who is dressed in a Roman Toga that sprouts a
Caesar-style myriad of plastic daggers and fake blood. *
Various people are in Batman and Catwoman outfits，
including an undulating couple on the dance floor， Josh
and Jen. Josh is Catwoman. Jen is Batman.
JOSH
Jen， look over there， but don't
stare.
JEN
（staring）
My god. How rude.
They are revealed to be looking at Bruce Wayne strutting
down the main aisle， dressed dramatically as……BRUCE
WAYNE. The only one without a costume， Bruce catches
some glares from the hedonists. He and Max shake hands，
trading chilly smiles.
MAX
Ingenious costume. Let me guess
…… Trust-fund goody-goody？
BRUCE
Course you're feeling fine …… You
almost made a monster the Mayor of
Gotham City.
MAX
I am the light of this city. AND
I am its mean， twisted soul. Does
it really matter who's the "mayor"？
BRUCE
It does to me.
MAX
Yawn.
He drifts off. Bruce considers having the last word， when
his attention is diverted to a new guest， entering. It's：
Selina Kyle， dramatically dressed as …… Selina Kyle. She
draws the same sour looks as Bruce did. And ignores them，
as Bruce did. Gives Bruce a lovely， world-weary smile.
190 OMITTED 190
191 INT. STORE DANCE FLOOR——NIGHT 191
Chip Shreck is dressed as an old-time football hero， in
knickers， etc. He moves， warily， across the floor ……
CHIP
Selina …… Ms. Kyle…… May I have
this ——
Bruce cuts in and Selina lets him： The band does a *
ballad as Selina flows into Bruce's arms. They nakedly
dance amid the swathed-in-artifice revelers.
BRUCE
Sorry about yesterday …… Some big
deal came together， no， fell
through， and ——
SELINA
'S'okay， I had to go home， feed my
cat.
BRUCE
No hard feelings？
Selina presses against her partner. Smiles.
SELINA
Actually …… semi-hard， I'd say.
Bruce blushes， steps back. Selina does a sultry
pirouette.
SELINA
There's a big， comfy California
King over in Bedding. What say
we ……
BRUCE
（ironic）
Y'mean take off our costumes？
SELINA
（sad laugh）
Guess I'm sick of wearing masks ……
BRUCE
Same here. So why'd you come
tonight？
SELINA
You first.
Bruce presses close to her again.
BRUCE
To see you.
He waits for a response. Selina pauses， then：
SELINA
That's lovely and I really wish I
could say the same， but …… I came
for Max.
At first， Bruce doesn't understand.
BRUCE
You don't mean …… you and Max ……？
Selina gives a harsh laugh， shakes her head.
SELINA
THIS and Max.
She discreetly pulls a little derringer from her evening
bag. Shocked， Bruce pushes it back in her bag.
192 OMITTED 192
193 INT. THE SEWER BELOW THE STORE——EVENING 193
The spooky ballad wafts into a sewer below the Store.
The lights of the party radiate through the grate of a
ventilator shaft. Rising into this strange mix of music，
light， and slime is Penguin's Rubber Duck. On its
scissor-lift， it continues to climb， at first revealing
Four Penguin Shock Troops， in bizarre headgear， missiles
pointed straight up.
194 INT. STORE——DANCE FLOOR——NIGHT 194
Bruce and Selina continue to dance， emotions rising.
SELINA
Now don't give me a killing-Max-
won't-solve-anything speech，
because it will. Aren't you tired
of this sanctimonious robber baron
always coming out on top？ When he
should be six feet under？ *
BRUCE
Jesus， Selina， you're not the judge *
or the jury…… I mean， just who do
you think you ARE？
SELINA
I don't know anymore， Bruce ……
They glide together beneath a piece of hanging mistletoe，
and she gives a soft， almost regretful kiss. And laughs.
SELINA
A kiss under the mistletoe.
Mistletoe can be deadly， if you
eat it ……
BRUCE
But a kiss can be even deadlier，
if you mean …… it.
And suddenly it hits them —— what？ No！ Can it be？
BRUCE SELINA
You're …… her？ You're …… him？
Bruce tenderly， carefully undoes the cuff of Selina's
blouse and pulls back her sleeve. Feels：
BRUCE
The burn I gave you.
Meanwhile Selina's hand explores under Bruce's shirt， finds：
SELINA
The puncture wounds I gave you.
（wearily）
Oh god …… does this mean we have
to start fighting now？
Bruce's answer is to hold her tight. He's scared， so is she.
SELINA
…… What do we do？
BRUCE
I don't know. Till we figure it
out， let's …… let's keep dancing.
That works for Selina. They sway on， to the haunting song.
Alfred is standing next to Commissioner Gordon， watching.
GORDON
A darling couple.
ALFRED
Yes， made for each other ……
Abruptly a square of dance floor EXPLODES， sending Bruce，
Selina， Chip， Max， Josh， Jen， Alfred， Gordon， et al，
sprawling.
Erupting up from the sizzling hole is Penguin， in his
Rubber Duck. In addition to the Four Penguins， he's
brought the Organ Grinder with his Gatling gun. The *
Revelers SHRIEK as the Organ Grinder introduces his boss：
ORGAN GRINDER *
Yes， Virginia， there is an anti-
Christ！
PENGUIN
You didn't invite me， so I
crashed！
Once again， the Mayor steps forward.
MAYOR
What do you want …… "Penguin"？
PENGUIN
Nothing from you …… "Putz".
He pushes the Mayor out of the way. And announces， to the
horrified throng：
PENGUIN
Right now， my troops are fanning
out across town， for your
children ……
（over gasps）
Yes， for your first-born sons ……
The ones you left helpless， at
home， so you could dress up like
jerks， get juiced on Max's
Shreggnog……
As those closest to the bomb blast dazedly pick themselves
up off the dance floor ……
PENGUIN
I've personally come for Gotham's
FAVORITE son …… Mr. Chip Shreck！ *
The Organ Grinder grabs a struggling Chip holding him with *
an ornate handgun. *
A woozy Selina turns， to her dance partner：
SELINA
Bruce …… we have to do someth ……
Then trails off. Bruce has slipped away， in the confusion.
Penguin crows， as Chip is hustled over to the Rubber *
Duck：
PENGUIN
You're coming with me， you Great
White Dope！ To die， way down in
the sewer！
MAX
Not Chip！ Please！ Penguin ……
If you have one iota of human
feeling， you'll take me instead.
PENGUIN
I don't. So， no.
MAX
（grabs Penguin's coat）
I'm the one you want！ Penguin，
please！ Ask yourself： Isn't it
Max Shreck who manipulated and
betrayed you？ Isn't it Max， not
Chip， whom you want to see immersed
up to his eyeballs in raw sewage？
PENGUIN
（removing Max's hands）
Okay， you have a point. Plus， the
hysterics are getting on my nerves.
Then barks：
PENGUIN
Let Knute Rockne live. For now.
The Organ Grinder frees Chip， grabs Max. Forces him into
the Rubber Duck. Penguin jumps in after them.
As the Rubber Duck swooshes back down into the hole， the
penguins cover the escape by firing a smokey volley：
Smoke bombs …… that create massive， coughing CHAOS ……
